Full Circle

For the last 2+ years I have been pouring myself into life and community. Stretching. Thriving. It's been an amazing journey full of many adventures and lots of travel. A time of new relationships, some long and others short. Funny how quickly our lives and perspectives can change sometimes. February started with the Joy Dare and a planned trip to Boston. Instead the month brought the death of my grandpa, the heartache and increased forgetfulness of my granny, the burden of so much of this on my father, trying to juggle everyone's needs, and my own evaluation of what I want out of my life.

I wish I could say it has spurred me to lofty goals and ambitions, but it seems to have frozen me in this contemplative place. There is a sense that too much of life has passed by and yet still too much ahead. So I sit here and type feeling like I have nothing left to say here on this blog. The beauty and ideas and lessons that once seemed to pour out feel galaxies away. Whatever thoughts and feelings I have seemed to be trapped behind a big steel door without a key. It feels like an invasion of my own privacy to even be sharing this right now (but I am doing it anyway).

This past month I have been emptied. I've been stripped down by death, by people in need, by my own expectations, and a God who wants the best for me and of me. Emptied of discipline, motivation, connection, passion, and love. It's exactly where God wants me - dependent on Him, looking to Him for restoration. Full circle.

Now...

He's turned the page for me to start anew. It's the same book but the story can go anywhere from here. With what words shall it begin...?

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life. (Psalm 143:8) 

Joy Dare Week 2

Laughter...  

#30 Turkey sex

Hard Eucharisteo...

#37 Grandpa's death

At work...

#39 The innate ability to process the details

The love of God...

#41 Getting to connect with JD while she is in Cameroon

Loss...

#44 Hurting from the death of a loved one means there was great love

In shadows...

#47 Sleep finally coming

Serving and Giving...

# 50 Cloud animals, games and laughing with my cousin Austin

More Joy Dare Gifts

Gifts this week from Outside, Red Things, Broken, Fixed and Thrifted, and Surprises!

#16 - Sunshine & warmth in February

#18 - Beautiful bare trees glowing in golden sunset

#19 - Freedom we are blessed to have

#20 - Yummy tomatoes in my salad

#21 - Liquid energy (at least psychologically)

#22 - Subtle reminders

#25 - 2nd hand clothes - the exciting new feeling without the spending guilt

#27 - Date with good friend planned

#28 - Feeling better and having energy

#29 - Feeling skinny in my new corduroys

Joy Dare Day 3-5

Personal insight and affirmation
(found in writing)

Cold water in the frig
(found while bent down)

Unexpected gifts & meeting new people
(something woven)

Reminder of how rich I am
and that I can bless those less fortunate
(something hammered)

Unique talents of others
(something stitched)

Day 1 & 2 of the Joy Dare

Day 1 - Gifts at 11:30am, 2:30pm and 6:30pm

I was excited to see what gifts I could uncover this day. Just before 11:30 Kelly and I were discussing how each of us would keep track of our gifts. I realized it was a gift to have her to share this journey with each day.

Finding a gift in some easy conversation with a friend whom I had been feeling distant from, which helped some depths thaw.

And on my drive home from work, a solution was found for a difficult situation.

Day 2 - Overhearing gifts

When you are looking for and waiting for certain kinds of gifts, it may be harder to see them. Today's gifts were hard. Most of what I overhear during the day is work-stuff and most of it is either neutral or negative. What I do overhear is people trying to help other people and offer an experience that is professional and knowledgeable. No automated menus to go in circles through - but people who generally like what they do. It is a gift to work with people like that.

I also found out today that JD was asked by Compassion Intl. in Colorado to write an article for them as they have gotten wind of how awesome a sponsor and advocate she is. She was so excited it. Seeing her obedience and dedication bringing blessings makes me so proud to be her friend.

While I haven't "overheard" a third gift yet (the day's not quite over) I discovered that when you are on a search for a certain type of gift that is harder to find, you stumble across many more that don't fit the category but are worth acknowledging all the same. I have good hearing that allows me to listen for blessings. I have wonderful friends to spend my working days with and technology at my fingertips to help the customers I speak with, just to name a few.

seeking jewels of joy...

The Joy Dare

So far it’s been a gracious winter. Yesterday it was sunny and a spring-like 50+ degrees. Once again I am chasing the fading light on my evening drive instead of racing the moon. Yet, sometime the winter dark days are harder to thaw on the inside where the frost goes deep.

 

So then…

I’ve decided to participate in the Joy Dare for the month of February. Actively seeking and anticipating daily gifts is like throwing open the shutters to let that sunlight stream in and warm the frozen places. The gifts are always there, but I don’t always take the time to acknowledge them. 

My friend, Kelly is joining me in doing this. As we share our captured gifts, our daily joy will double. I hope you will take this journey with me. Some days I will share my gifts with words and others with photos. This is a re-discovery of joy and creativity.  

Standing at the starting line.

Ready to run with joy…

Great!

The ants have moved back into my bathroom. Where do they come from??? And why do they keep choosing my bathroom every year?

Oh and these ants... they are apparently great swimmers. My several attempts to simply send them down the sink drain seems to just give them a nice little ride around in the basin which I am sure afterword they look up at me and say in their ant voice, which I can't hear... cause I'm not insane yet, "That was fun, can we do it again, please?"

It's time to get the big bug man with his killer bait to come and rid my bathroom of these buggers.

Sorry ants, but if you would just stay out of my living space, your life might have lasted longer.