Thursday, October 29, 2009
Please take a few moments and listen. Let the words and their power sink in.
We all have doubts and moments and seasons where we feel blinded by the dark. When we feel so alone. He is with us... Emmanuel!
HE IS WITH YOU
There’s a time to live
And a time to die
There’s a time to laugh
And a time to cry
There’s a time for war
And a time for peace
There’s a hand to hold
In the worst of these
He is with you when your faith is dead
And you can’t even get out of bed
Or your husband doesn’t kiss you anymore
He is with you when your baby’s gone
And your house is still,
And your heart’s a stone
Cryin’ God, what’d You do that for
He is with you
There’s a time for yes
And a time for no
There’s a time to be angry
And a time to let it go
There is a time to run
And a time to face it
There is love to see you
Through all of this
He is with you in the conference room
When the world is coming down on you
And your wife and kids don’t know you anymore
He is with you in the ICU
When the doctors don’t know what to do
And it scares you to the core
He is with you
We may weep for a time
But joy will come in the morning
The morning light
He is with you when your kids are grown
When there’s too much space
And you feel alone
And you’re worried if you
got it right or wrong
Yes He is with you
when you’ve given up on ever finding your true love
Someone who feels like home
He is with you
When nothing else is left
And you take your final breath
He is with you
Monday, October 26, 2009
Friday night -inside and warm
Saturday morning on the boat
13.1 miles later I am still breathing to tell about it. Ok - there was really no doubt that I would finish, it's just would I be happy with how I finished. And I was. The weather could have been a bit more cooperative. Friday when we got there the weather was so nasty, the ferries weren't even running - 12 foot waves out on the lake! I had every one I knew praying for better weather. By Saturday morning it wasn't raining so hard but it was drizzly and very cold... 40 degrees... Brrrr...
This is how far we wanted to run
While we are still happy and excited
Waiting for the start
And we're off
While we were waiting to start my sister realized her mp3 player was dead. It was not a happy moment when she realized she would have to run the whole thing without tunes. At the halfway point when I saw my dad and Judy, I gave my mp3 player to them for my sister so she could run the last half with music and I would run the second half without. Except the goober didn't take it - so we both suffered in silence... alas.... for the last 6 miles.
Then I ran and ran. Along the lakeshore, up through trails, over wet leaves, through mud and horse crap, up hills and down hills, (even had 30 seconds of sun where I looked upand smiled knowing people were praying for that sun!) until that glorious moment of crossing the finish line.
It looks like I'm walking across the finish - but I swear I ran
Then I wanted to lie down and die - except that it was too wet and cold to. Then I got the chills - even with a clean dry shirt on I proceeded to shiver for the next 2 hours while we waited for the boat to take us back to the mainland. As we waited to load onto the boat, it started to rain on us. Then for the rest of the day, guess what? The sun was out. Sunday was equally prefect. Couldn't we have sped up the weather 24 hrs for the race?
Inquiring minds want to know if I am going to do it again next year??? I told my sister she needed to pick a race where hypothermia isn't a concern and a boat ride isn't required :-)
Overall - it was a good weekend. I got to be with my sister and accomplish something I've worked hard towards. My family and friends were there in person and in spirit to support me.
On the way back through town we saw these shirts in the store window and knew we needed to get them. Of course dad had to initially ante up the funds cause neither of us brought money. Yes, I realize the shirt is pink. For this one occasion I put aside my pink prejudices.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
· little boys in suits
· taking funny photographs
· listening to or playing guitar
· "Tia" blue
· nicknames (my sister and I have been known to call each Fremont and Clyde, although we have no idea how it got started)
· printed socks
· foreign accents (especially when having Dr. Seuss read aloud)
· having your hair played with
· being sung to sleep
· pajamas at breakfast
· the "snuggle right in" feeling
· making snow angels
· sprinkles (or jimmies if you prefer)
· snow lined trees
· church bells
· flying a kite
· wild roses over a cottage door
· a sharp pencil
· feeling devastatingly feminine (on the extreme odd occasion this happens)
· old childhood books
· singing around a piano
· a dream box
· sand dollars
· peeling elmers glue off your hand
· the moonlight on snow
· playing in the rain
· hot chocolate & marshmallows
· blazing fireplaces
· hot, gooey chocolate chip cookies
· pop-up books
· a 3 yr olds imagination
· Popsicles (cherry is my favorite)
· reading outside on a blanket in the autumn sun
· Strawberry Shortcake dolls (I can smell them right now)
· The Muppets
· Life is Beautiful
· sign language
· Ann of Green Gables
· a small act of grace
· sleeping on the beach
· Mr. Wizard
· La Campanella
· stone fireplaces
· sharing a banana split
· the smell of baby powder
· people who understand there's a lot to you
· azure skies
· snow-capped mountains
· finger painting
· reading to a child
· penny loafers w/ pennies
· Rice Krispie Treats
· apple cider & donuts at the orchard
· Christmas carols
· sea spray
· meteor showers
· My Fair Lady
· ice cream & french fries
· believing in miracles
· Life saver sparks in the dark
· Dairy Queen
· baby's breath
· Rodger's & Hammerstein's Cinderella
· Oreo cookies
· squooshing ice-cream sandwiches
· Little Women
· sand castles
· watching it snow
· smell of freshly cut grass
· ivied walls
· large groups singing accapella
· Greenwich Village
With a list like that, how could I not be happy right now!!
Sunday, October 18, 2009
I have prayed much this week about walking on broken glass. Admitting there are places where I fall short and need some training and growth. There are fears about getting hurt. Times it feels uncomfortable. Jesus is the ultimate example and he walked right up and onto a cross. With that measuring stick... boy have I got a long way to go.
Even today while this post was rattling around in my brain. I was telling someone close to me about part one and she flat out asked me 'if I believed that we are supposed to carry one another's burden, why don't I do that for her?' And it left me wondering if I have picked and chosen my own times and places to walk on broken glass? Or perhaps does God know us so well He gives us certain times and places to put ourselves out there and take the risk while keeping us from others when He knows we might not make it across?
Again, God does not delight in our brokeness. He desires to make us whole and holy people who have perfect communion with Him. As we walk in the paths He has given us, whether it be across a desert span, through the waters or on top of broken glass - He is ever refining His image in us.
With each step, the glass shifts. The uncomfortable pressure shapes the shards. Our tears, emotions and heart felt prayers leave a stain.
We don't understand. We're too close to see.
But God - the magnificient creator He is - sees what it is to become. His work of art... for His glory. Once we've made it across, we look back and marvel.....
Broken glass into beautiful reflection of Him.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Not pretty round translucent pebbles. Not the ocean softened edged sea glass. We’re talking - slam the wine glass, vase, *insert your glass of choice* here in multiple quantities. Or worse yet a mirror that reflects you back to you. The thing is - you have to step carefully. If the pressure falls on the dull edge, it’s a bearable pain, an ache. But step on the sharp edge... it hurts. The danger in that is there is always the risk of getting cut, the risk of bleeding, and the risk of feeling overwhelmed by the task at hand. What’s that? You don’t think you want to try it…
Don’t we all walk on broken glass? It’s the path of humanity in relationship. It’s the path of love. Sacrificial, gut-wrenching, carry one another’s burdens love.
Sometimes these relationships are ours by circumstances – an autistic child, a mother with cancer, an absent or abusive father, a demanding boss and the list goes on and on. Sometimes though, the opportunity to traverse the shards is placed in front of us and we have a choice. Yes, it is an opportunity – an opportunity to be strength for the weak, to encourage, to be Jesus to someone, to grow, and most importantly an opportunity to love. It’s your choice. Walk across or turn around and walk away…
I have found that glass walking can do one of two things. It can make one’s feet more sensitive and understanding. Those who see the broken paths we are all walking. But some become cold and calloused. They lose the ability to feel the sharpness of the pain beneath them, sometimes not even a slight discomfort. They are insensitive to the people around them. Perhaps they will walk away and won’t even know they’ve left.
I pray today that my feet would be sensitive to the pain, my heart would be open to love and I would have the courage to keep walking. Sometimes the trek across the glass is short and quick, other times the end does not appear in sight.
How far are you willing to walk on broken glass?
Thursday, October 8, 2009
· a toddlers vocabulary
· picking out a card & sending it to someone who would never expect it
· lemon cookies
· braking for rainbows
· taking a walk when the world is too much
· running down a beach
· dolphins smiling
· getting mail (the real kind)
· paying attention to how different music affects you
· daffodils, daisies, sunflowers and dandelions
· true friendship
· lanes that lead to the sea
· laughing at yourself
· 7-eleven runs at all hours of the night
· sand between your toes
· gorgeous rocks
· whipped cream and strawberries
· the smell of the sea
· pockets crammed with shells and sea glass
· good hair days
· singing at the top of your lungs to your favorite song
· a hug from a little kid
· sea otters
· sesame street
· purring sound
· the warm feeling of waking up on a cold morning and discovering you have another 20 minutes to sleep
· catching snow on your tongue
· stretching out in warm sand
· buying yourself a toy
· Dr. Pepper
· blowing bubbles
· the smell of Play-Doh
· kittens & puppies- when they’re brand new
· Dr. Seuss!
· animal crackers
· baby elephants
· inside jokes
· sunshine rays through the clouds
· starry skies
· smell of campfires
· wildflowers in a field
Just to name a few. More to come in the future.
What are some of your happy making thoughts?
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Lately, I’ve been in a personal season of change.
While I love pulling out clothes from last year and rediscovering them (Oh I forgot I had that), pulling out those storage boxes of the past is a much different experience. It’s not one I would choose.
But God is doing some housekeeping work. He’s in my closet uncovering things I’d forgotten about. Things I didn’t want to remember. I can only stand there and watch. It hurts at time. I feel shame and embarrassment. He doesn’t seem to be bothered. I ask Him “Why? Why are you doing this? Why does it hurt so much?” He keeps on cleaning, but says ,“I’m cleaning out the old to make room for the new. You want new don’t you?”
Sometimes it’s hard to let go of our old stuff, even if we don’t wear it anymore and it doesn’t fit. We like knowing it’s there – neatly folded in the bottom of that box in the back covered in dust. Or maybe even hanging there right in front of our face everyday. It’s there… just in case.