Thursday, January 29, 2009

A Silly Story

Once upon a time there was this really cool girl, but only some people knew how cool she really was. She was humble and didn’t flaunt her cool-ness. By some weird twist of fate she became friends with another really cool girl. Except this girl might not have been quite as cool, because she tried hard to make people think she was cool, despite down deep inside feeling like an alien who doesn’t fit in the world.

These are the (not so) adventures of Boobie Chickenlips and Snickle Pottytush.

(Who incidentally from this point forward will be referred to as BC and SP, just ‘cause it’s easier)

Chapter 1 - BC’s Phobia
Despite her uber-awesome factor, BC does have a problem. She has “Siamese disease.” She does not go anywhere without someone else, even if it’s only 5 feet away. She is capable of separation if forced, but I wouldn’t want to cause any anxiety by trying it out. As far as diseases go, this really isn’t a bad one to have. One could be much worse off and have “touchy-feely disease” and always be touching people.

Because of this need to always be accompanied, SP is with BC in situations in which she typically wouldn’t have been present and thus it has led to aforementioned adventures. But SP has her own issues too.

Chapter 2 – SP’s Freakiness
As we leave disease land, we don’t have to travel far. The land of “Obsessive Freak” is only a stone’s throw away. This is where SP lives. Even though at first glance you might think she lives in the land of Normal, it doesn’t take long to realize all is not well in her head. There is nothing specific that she obsesses over, just whatever happens to have her attention at the moment. She’ll latch onto a person and learn everything she can and talk about them incessantly. She’ll pick up on a project and won’t let it go until it’s finished (or several are done). Most recently she has resurrected an old one of musical theater. Show tunes non-stop, or if stopped, then music by someone that has sung on a soundtrack. Others wonder how she even has time for friends at all, but she’s freakishly loyal to each friend she has – one at a time though, of course.

Chapter 3 – A Series of Fortunate Circumstances
The friendship of these two began quite some time ago, but only recently have they become the dynamic duo. This event happened due to the departure of another cool girl (who only has this brief cameo in the story), which left the vacancy BC so joyfully filled. Not only did she get to leave the chamber of torture, she would now be spending 40 hours a week with SP (a decision that she may at times question the logic of).

Chapter 4 – The wicked, the blonde and the so-called chaos
SP decided it was time for BC to experience something new and invited her to see not one, but two, Broadway shows. Their first official adventure together was Wicked. Of course Mother Nature decided to dump several feet of snow overnight and at first the situation looked a little dismal. SP managed to swerve and slide her way around town to get her hair done for the evening. By evening, everything was a go. As well planned as could be, SP and BC met up right inside the theater and enjoyed the witch-y play. In fact BC liked it so much, the following week she began listening to the soundtrack. SP couldn’t have been happier with her protégé.

A couple weeks later, the two braved an after-office party. With only the slightest bias, they were the two best looking there. Neither one could drink fast enough for all the free drinks they were being offered. SP was looking particularly sexy that evening. In once instance it proved to be a disadvantage as an attendee came from nowhere and stuck his face right in front of SP. She thought she was going to be kissed and quickly turned her head. All the while staring wide-eyed at BC for some help. Ultimately it turned out ok. Said creepy man simply whispered to SP and touched forehead to forehead. Then poked BC in the side jokingly and left. Next time, they’ll try and be more careful and alert. Or perhaps SP should just burn her knee high boots. Nah!

Fast forward one week. There was major seismic activity in both their lives from an outside source. It’s good they can share their perspectives with one another to create a bridge over the crumbling structure. Otherwise, they’d be in serious danger of going down in flames. But all was able to be quickly set aside as part deux of BC theater indoctrination was to begin. Pink was the word. Even though both wore black and grey. Legally Blonde the musical was a huge success and wickedly funny (perhaps I am getting confused). By the end, their smile muscles hurt from permagrin. Shortly after, BC relocated to a new home only block away from obsessive freak land’s border. And a little closer to SP’s heart with her new addiction to the theater.

Chapter 5 – The saga continues
An ice skating quest was planned next, an opportunity to turn the city on its head. SP was looking forward to the time to hang with just BC, some quieter time to have a real conversation. But BC went and got herself a date with a bagel (which in her defense is wise) and bailed. The disappointment SP felt was fairly short-lived though since the change of plans gives her some extra downtime amidst a busy day. Both realize there are still plenty of journeys to be had.

What escapades await these two? The future can only shudder at the possibilities.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Stop the world! I want to get off!

Or maybe just a short break.

I have not stopped moving since Thursday evening. I think I was even moving during the few hours of sleep I got. Don't get me wrong. It's actually been a wonderful weekend and tiring in a good way. At the start of Thursday, I had few weekend plans - just a brunch planned and some cooking. I was not anticipating my social calendar to become jam-packed.

Let me take you on the ride along with me.

Thursday I left work and went straight to the gym and did 45 minutes of circuit training. Then I left the gym and went to the bank and talked to a friend on the phone. We made tenative plans to get together Friday evening. 45 mins after my first workout, I was back in the gym for an hour class. Before going to bed I watched a movie and did some computer work.

Friday. 7:30 am my alarm goes off. I dragged my tired (but excited) butt out of bed. Checked my email to confirm my brunch plans - of which the time was moved up by 15 mins. Eat and head back to the gym. Except I got there later than I planned so I kamikazeed a 45 min workout into 25 mins. Rushed home to shower, dress and get direction to the restaurant in Flint. Proceeded to fight with my computer for 20 minutes trying to get the directions. Finally left with 35 minutes to get to Flint. Luckily, that just about how long it takes (well less if you drive 80 'cause then you'll have time for a car wash) **deep breath ** The brunch was with an old friend from college, Jaime, who is now in the christian music industry. It was a wonderful time of catching up for us. After an hour and a half, I dropped Jaime off at the airport and drove home (this time a little slower).

I spent the next couple hours putting together my workouts and menu for next week and created a grocery list. I was planning on going shopping that afternoon but I was feeling very tired. My friend called to postpone our plans until Saturday, but another friend invited me to a Mary Kay party. I tried to take a nap but was unable to fall asleep. I got up, ate and went to the party. At 9:30 I felt like I hit the wall and was ready to go home and crash. But plans changed again and Hilary was coming over to spend the night. We stayed up talking until about 2 am. It was nice to just sit and talk and I hadn't been able to hang out with her in while.

(are you tired yet)

Saturday morning I was up at 8:30 and crawled out of bed at 9am. I spent a half hour writing and then started breakfast. I made these crazy pancakes out of cottage cheese, eggs and flour. (and by the way, I hate cottage cheese. I hate even looking at it) The pancakes were really good with some jelly on them. It's now 10:30 am and I solidify my afternoon plans and Hilary leaves to start her day. Then I rush to the grocery store and am back home in an hour to meet my friend.

Now comes for the momentary relaxation. My friend comes over. I didn't really want to do anything. She isn't good at doing nothing. So I came up with a plan for her to give me a massage. That way we'd both get what we wanted! Typically I am not into massages at all or being touched in general. In fact she is the only friend of mine I would ever let give do this. But after all the working out and running around it felt great.

After she left I began to cook and cooked for 3 hours. And now I have finally sat down in my apartment all by myself. It seems a little quiet. But it won't be for long. Tonight I am going to out to play music for a couple hours and i still have cooking left to do.

And for tomorrow. Another full day of church, brunch, gym and a party for my mom's boyfriend.

** another deep breath ***

I definitately need a nap!

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Yoga? Me?

I have written before about my dance class at the gym and my least favorite part.... YOGA.

There are books and videos for everything these days. Well almost everything. There is yoga for dummies, beginners and really crazy "zen" people. But I haven't found the one for me yet. "Yoga for the completely inflexible and uncoordinated." I know the purpose of yoga is to make me better in those areas, but if I can't do the basics, am I getting any benefit other than making a fool of myself and potential injury?

I know it's a bit cliche to write about fitness in January. (and no I didn't make a new year's resolution) But I did buy a weight-loss yoga video in hopes of getting better at it. Very conveniently I also got a yoga mat for Christmas. So today, since I was basically snowed in and stuck in my apartment, I decided to try it out. It's amazing how something that is supposed to de-stress and relax you, actually causes me stress. It's so hard and I hate not being able to do something. I managed to finish the 35 mins, but I probably did half of it wrong (and took several mini-breaks that were not part of the video). I'm determined to make some progress in this area. Maybe by next January I'll be able to go from a downward dog to an up dog.

But it's worth it in the end. Last weekend, I bought my very first pair of skinny jeans. They aren't the real skinny jeans, but they make me feel incredibly skinny (and tall). I love them. Looking in the mirror when I tried them on, I had a magic moment. The kind where you see what other people see instead of your own messed up perception of yourself. You see just how worth it you really are. Even though I've never in my life paid that much for a pair of jeans, I bought them anyway. Every single dollar I spent was worth it. It reminds me of how hard I have worked and everytime I wear them it will be a reminder to treat myself well.

If I made resolutions, perhaps that would be mine for this year. To treat myself with love and respect. I pray you would do the same (with or without skinny jeans).

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Swartzenwaelder Fritzenchorte?

I know you are dying to know what that it. The answer isn't as impressive in English, trust me.

I have two young cousins, Kevin and Austin (age 12 & 7) And I like spending time with them, they make me laugh. Over the New Year weekend I invited them to come and spend the night. We like to play games. Kevin brought a game called Eat It, which is basically trival pursuit except all the questions are about foods, junk foods in particular. We had been playing for a little while (and of course I was winning) when "the question" came up.

Kevin begins by reading the question to me. "what is the english translation of sch... shhh...." Already I am laughing because how can I translate it if he can't even say it. He turns the card to me- No wonder! I'm not even sure the Germans can pronounce it. From there it went downhill. We all just started making up our own versions of the word, such as "shortenwalder cook and snort." It became our buzz word for the next 20 hours. I have no idea how many times we brought it up and laughed.

Another buzzword we created for the time was created on our way to the movies. Kevin was making up a story about a college roommate. I stopped him and told him my own true roommate horror story. My third year of college, second semester I was given a roomate. Even though I had the room to myself prior to that, I wasn't really upset about it.... until I met her. She was well known on campus, kinda a bully and she had been kicked off campus the semester before for beating up her roommate. (yeah for me, huh). But I consider myself to be pretty good at getting along with people so I figured it might still be fine.

Problem #1: She brings in about 100 black garbage bags dumps them in the middle of the room (I wasn't there) and then leaves for 3 days. Totally inconsiderate.

Problem #2: When she does return she tells me that the bags are infested with cockroaches and so now is our room probably. Totally gross.

Problem #3: She leaves the room door wide open with her keys in the door and she is on the other side of campus. I don't want my stuff stolen and I can't find her so I shut and lock the door. She comes back and can't get in. My friend overhears her yelling that she's "gonna f*** that b**** up"

I was up in the housing department every week until they finally moved her out.

Back to the car driving to the movies... After I finish Kevin asks me what her name was. I couldn't remember it so jokingly i said, "I think it was something like Shansta." Kevin says, "Shanasta? Who would name their kid that? You should have called her Sha-nasty." I think I laughed for 10 minutes. I couldn't believe he just said that and I shouldn't be laughing but it was hilarious. And all the gross things from that point on became shanasty.

Oh and in case you are still wondering what the big German word means... it's Black Forest Cake.