Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Selling Kids?

Celimphilo will be 14 in April. It’s hard to believe I have been sponsoring him for 6 years now. Typically his letters are very short – well wishes and answers to any questions I may have asked and that’s it. 

A few months ago a letter arrived that gave me precious insight into the heart of this boy I barely know. In his letter he told me that it had been cold in Swaziland and the blanket they had received several years ago was now worn out. Even in school he was cold and because he didn’t have anything of his own, he was wearing his older sister’s sweater to school. What teenage boy anywhere wants to wear their sister’s clothes?

So I did what I could to help and this week I got a letter.

“… We have managed to buy a she goat, school shoes and jersey which will keep him warm in cold seasons. They will multiply itself, kids will be sold for school needs.”

When I first read it I thought:                 Selling kids?? Huh? I thought I was doing all this work to keep kids from being sold… Oh wait kids… baby goats. Boy I’m slow today. Pretty impressive that one she goat can multiply itself! I’m sure the she would never be caught with any of those male goats that roam around the village.  

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Full Circle

For the last 2+ years I have been pouring myself into life and community. Stretching. Thriving. It's been an amazing journey full of many adventures and lots of travel. A time of new relationships, some long and others short. Funny how quickly our lives and perspectives can change sometimes. February started with the Joy Dare and a planned trip to Boston. Instead the month brought the death of my grandpa, the heartache and increased forgetfulness of my granny, the burden of so much of this on my father, trying to juggle everyone's needs, and my own evaluation of what I want out of my life.

I wish I could say it has spurred me to lofty goals and ambitions, but it seems to have frozen me in this contemplative place. There is a sense that too much of life has passed by and yet still too much ahead. So I sit here and type feeling like I have nothing left to say here on this blog. The beauty and ideas and lessons that once seemed to pour out feel galaxies away. Whatever thoughts and feelings I have seemed to be trapped behind a big steel door without a key. It feels like an invasion of my own privacy to even be sharing this right now (but I am doing it anyway).

This past month I have been emptied. I've been stripped down by death, by people in need, by my own expectations, and a God who wants the best for me and of me. Emptied of discipline, motivation, connection, passion, and love. It's exactly where God wants me - dependent on Him, looking to Him for restoration. Full circle.


He's turned the page for me to start anew. It's the same book but the story can go anywhere from here. With what words shall it begin...?

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life. (Psalm 143:8)