Wednesday, June 24, 2009

A Sparrow Sized Prayer

I admit it. I was in a funk. A little cold shoulder to God for not coming thru the way I wanted. Good thing God’s big enough not to really care. He still loves me. He’s still working out his plan in my life. He knows that I’ll come back around because after all he is Faithful and True and ultimately the only one worth having on your side.

Speaking of sides, PBS Great Performances had Chess in Concert on recently. Never heard of the musical Chess?? Neither had I. I think if you blinked anytime during 1984 you probably missed it, too. After watching it, I can understand why. The story was a bit convoluted, but the music……. Ahhhh the music. It’s intricate and beautiful. If anything can bring me out of a funk (or put me in one) its music. Honestly, the music might not be that great on it’s own. But for this concert the singers included Josh Groban (Hello! My fantasy boyfriend is singing! I was in love with it from note one.) Idina Menzel (Loved her when I saw her in Rent on Broadway and of course as the voice of Elphaba) and Adam Pascal (also from Rent). Combine them with some strong Broadway ballads and I’m in heaven. In fact, I am convinced I will hear sounds similar to those on the soundtrack when I’m in heaven.. So momentarily Chess is my new obsession.

Back to God answering prayers. Driving down the road (listening to my new Chess soundtrack) I had the thought that I shouldn’t quit praying about Gideon being able to come to the wedding, even though it seemed like a lost cause at this point. So I offered up my un-believing request once again for Uncle to concede to give Gideon more time and left the thought there.

Yesterday as I was getting into my car after work when I got a text from G. that said, “Are you still going to the wedding? I wish my short time was enough.” I felt bad. I told him I was still going and couldn’t his uncle stay just one more hour? He said he could do another hour. The only thing I could think of was how much God loves me and how he prompted me to pray even when I thought it was hopeless. I know it’s only a wedding, only a few hours on a Saturday evening. But God cares enough even about even such a small thing because it mattered to my heart.

It has not gone unappreciated. Thank you, Jesus!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

There are still good guys

My friend Gideon is one of those guys.

He is from Cameroon, which is on the west coast of Africa. I met him through my friend H, whom he tutored in Chemistry. She invited him over to dinner to meet her family and tell them about life in Africa. Since she knew my heart for anything African she invited me and a friendship began. He has tried to teach me how to throw a punch, cooked an African meal for me and mademe watch a horrible 4 hour long African movie. I've tried to show him some more American-fare - like swimming in a pool, eating out in restuarants and my favorite -the American musical!

Gideon is here in the states to become a doctor. Most of the time he is working or studying. In fact we went a year without getting together because he was so busy. Recently, we finally re-connected. We went for a walk and he stopped to pick the leaf of a plant. He crumbled it in his hand and smelled it. He told me it looked like a leaf they use at home to stop bleeding, but it wasn't the same plant. He once told me about falling out of a tree and breaking a bone. There was no doctor, no cast. You just set the bone and rub something it on it and it heals. A few minutes later he stopped at another plant and told me it looked like a wild strawberry plant. Both just looked like green plants to me.

At the end of the evening I was telling him how I was disappointment about attending an upcoming wedding alone. He offerred to see if his cousin might work for him that evening so he could go with me. I thought, "this is perfect. I'll have someone there with me and he'll get to have a night out, have fun and dance." Unfortunately, his cousin was going to be out of town that weekend. I resigned myself to going alone again.

A week later Gideon called to tell me he wasn't giving up yet. He would keep trying until he was out of options. My heart was so touched that he was still trying. Honestly, I think he was excited about going. Even though I was praying for a miracle that somehow he would get the night off, I didn't really think it would happen...


At the beginning of this week, he texts me to see if I have found a date already and would I still like him to take me. I can't believe it! I was on the verge of happiness. And then the let down. His uncle will cover for him but only until 10pm.

This presented a dilemma. Wedding starts at 6pm and is over an hour away. For Gideon to be home by 10 means leaving at 9pm, which would be right in the middle to end of dinner. We would miss all the fun. I was completely torn on what to do... I went back and forth. I asked advice. In the end I had to tell Gideon it just wasn't going to work, but I appreciated all his efforts.

I wish it could have been simple and we could have gone and just had a fun night. But what an amazing friend I have! Yes, indeed, there are still good guys in the world.

Friday, June 12, 2009


Have you ever tried "putting out a fleece" just to find it soaking wet and disinegrated? How do you interpret that?

Let me back up for those of you who read this that aren't familiar with christian lingo and explain the concept of putting out a fleece. In the Bible there was a guy named Gideon and God told him to take get some guys together and go fight this huge army. Of course Gideon was like "Are you serious, God?!?" Just to be sure he wasn't hearing voices that should have him committed he decided to put a fleece outside his tent that night. He asked God to keep the fleece dry if God really wanted him to do this. The next morning the fleece was dry. Gideon still wasn't sure. Could have been a coincidence of the weather or something. So he put the fleece out a second time and asked God to make dew appear on the fleece. The next morning the fleece was damp and everything around it was dry. Then Gideon knew God was directing him into battle.

Over the last couple months I have had my own fleece out, in a sense. It's been a little disappointing. Probably because I had predetermined what I wanted the answer to be and like a typical spoiled human I also wanted the answer to come in the way that I had chosen for it to come. God isn't on board with my plans so it seems. He took my fleece and turned it into a wet blanket.

The easiest response is to get discouraged and disappointed. Should I give up? Nope. Maybe I just need to find a sheep shearer and get an actual fleece. It might be easier to interpret.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Who Knew?

For all of you who have been on my case about an update, I am finally getting around to it. Over Memorial weekend I traveled to Myrtle Beach, SC for a get away. I didn't have any expectations, took no time to look up possible things to do, or put any of my typical thought and worry into conversations to have. It was a glorious worry free couple of days.

I was able to stay with my dear friend Michele (thanks again M!) God definitely led the weekend and provided me with a wonderful mirror into my life and how far I have come. The things he made unique about me and the places he has changed me into a better, happier person. I saw just how soveriegn God is and that nothing we do or fail to do will keep hime from His purposes. The conversations I had with not only my friend, but with her friends and family were so life-giving and encouraging. It didn't even realize that times like that were missing in my life until they were restored. It was such an unexpected blessing. My heart was full!

The whole weekend I only took this one picture of myself.

I was home for one day before heading off to my second vacation. Time at my grandparents with my dad and sister there too. We went on a hike and up to Sleeping Bear Dunes. I took more pictures there. You can see the cool ones over at Overlapping Differences. But every trip I take, there has to be at least one slurpee picture.

Now I am back to the daily grind. I came back to work to find one person was let go. We packed up the office and moved into a new building. It's a new phase in every way and I'm excited to see whar God may have in store.

Last night I went to a church to hear some friends talk about where God is leading them in aviation ministry and meet a new friend of theirs. In the worship time and later talking to him, I again had that feeling of experiencing something I had been missing and didn't even know it.

Now I know and I don't want to let it go.