Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Broken Leg

We are made of body, soul and spirit. We all know how important it is to have a functioning body. When it’s unhealthy or injured in some way it limits us, generally causes pain and frustration. I hate being sick or feeling weak. (I might go as far to say that my stubbornness about being sick is a little extreme.) Much of it stems from a close family member who never seemed to be entirely healthy as far as I can remember. I did not want to miss out on life like that and I had very little grace for understanding the pain she was in.

But what about when our soul is sick or a part of it is broken? It’s like having a broken emotional leg. How do you put a cast on that and give it time to heal? Some people will simply ignore it while gangrene sets in creating more and more damage while others tend to hack the leg off in order to save the hassle. But soon they end up with nothing left to stand on, sit on, reach with, see with…. They become emotionally void.

I hate being sick or feeling weak. I hate admitting it even more. But…

Friends, my soul is wounded.

I tend to extremes, at least in emotional ways (in everything else I strive to stay in the comfortable middle). While I know this all-or-none thinking doesn’t do me any favors, it’s hard to find the middle ground. Our fleshly desires can be strong and not letting them have their way often closely resembles the kid having a tantrum in the grocery store cause the candy bar is within reach but can’t be had. (forgive me if you handle things much better… I am not talking about you.) Grasping the fact that there is something better to be had by waiting is sometimes a hard lesson to remember. Once we get “the something better” we often are thankful we didn’t eat the chocolate, but within a short time we have forgotten again.

How do we face and walk through our emotional pains in a way that protects the wound without further damage? I am learning the art of this and it doesn’t come naturally. I have a close friend whose physical health has not been good for a while and there are no answers yet. But her spirit rises above it with joy that carries her through the hard days. Our spirits can override soul sickness as well.

I don’t know what the other side of this will look like, but I know I will get there. When God told me this was the year of so much more, I failed to realize He didn’t mean just more of the good. He also meant more hard work, more heartbreak, more tears, more and waiting. I know without a doubt that on the other side I will know so much more of Jesus.

Your prayers are appreciated and coveted, especially this Friday as hard decisions are necessary and I want to make the right choices.


Misty said...

praying for you, my friend...

Michele said...

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 2-4

I may not talk to you often, but you are always in my thoughts!