Monday, August 2, 2010

Every Word of This is True

Seriously… I couldn’t make this up if I tried. And I have some pretty strange things running through my head. So, come on into my world, take a seat and let me tell you what happened yesterday.

I was feeling a little bit sorry for myself and quite sleepy I decided to lay down and close my eyes for a little while. I flung myself on the bed and immediately felt that heavy, half-asleep feeling… you know where you can still hear things but you can’t move or talk. I thought I heard a very faint knock on my door, but it was so faint I just figured it was someone knocking on the neighbor’s door. Then I heard a sound like my apartment door being opened. I listened a little more intently, didn’t hear anything else and once again assumed it was someone else’s door.

Then the unmistakable – my door closing a bit hard.

I jumped out of bed. Started looking out the windows to see if I could see anyone, or a strange car. Nothing.

Yeah… I know. Why wasn’t my door locked? Most of the time it is, but for some reason I didn’t lock it when I came home from brunch. But I digress…

Door now locked, I grab my cell phone and computer and head back into the bedroom. Now a nap is out of the question. Within just a couple minutes I heard someone trying to open the door again. Now, I was getting a little freaked out. Within a minute or two, I heard the quiet knocking again. I hesitated in opening the door, but I was curious. And I assumed they weren’t going to go away until I found out what they wanted.

And this is where it gets weird… I open my door to find… a very pudgy little boy, about 6 years old. I am staring and him and he at me. I asked him if I could help him. He puts he finger up to his face like he’s thinking really hard and looks back at me and says, “I’m looking for someone.”

“Oh are you looking for another little boy?” There is a boy across the hall, that’s probably where he wanted to be.

He just stared blank eyed at me. Shook his head no.

“Do you know who you are looking for? What they look like?”

The staring continues. He looks around bewildered.

“How would you like me to help you?”

Finally, he says in a quiet voice, turned sideways, not quite looking at me. “I am looking for a sexy woman.”
What!?! Did I just hear this little kid right? I am now, if I wasn’t already, completely blown off any sense of rationality and clear thinking. And all I can think of to say to this kid, who isn’t giving me much information to help him with is, “Well, she doesn’t live here.”

He looks surprised and unsure… or something like that. Who knows what was actually going through this boy’s mind? I’m not even sure what was going through mine. He again turns, hunches over grabbing his stomach and says in an exasperated voice, “Where DOES she live?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know how to help you. I guess you just need to keep looking. Good luck.” And with that I shut the door on the little boy looking for a sexy woman and locked it.

And still today I can’t make sense of it. I am sitting here thinking…. Really!?! I love that a strange boy showed up at my door outta nowhere. But ummm…. God…. I think you need to tweak the age & height a bit.

3 comments:

JD said...

The more I hear it, the funnier it is... and it was hilarious the first time!!!!

Yes... about 30 or so years, and oh, another, say, 2 feet or so, with an ability to communicate well, preferably!

Misty said...

so bizarre... it sounds like some sort of dare and maybe he was told to go to a different apartment or something. Weird!

Michele said...

It is so something that would happen to you. But I think you should be more careful about locking the door and who you open it for.