Monday, September 12, 2011
You. It’s always been you, the one who has the power to hurt me the most. From the very beginning you had such high expectations of me. I strived so hard to meet every single one. Sometimes I succeeded, but not always and I when I didn’t I felt like a failure. You made choices at times that left not only deep emotional scars but sometimes even physical ones. I thought I was free from your trap, but every now and again I turn a corner and feel you around me like a phantom cobweb. You will always be a part of my past, but I don’t want you to be a part of my present or future. Your negativity and unreasonable demands are not wanted. Forgiveness is a process and I’ve been in it for a while with you and most days there is much healing. There was a time I would have said I hated you, but I’ve come to accept you and even love you. Oh, there are days I still get angry with you and days I want to change you but I can’t. Only God can and I know He is. One day you’ll be just a gentle reminder of what I left behind and how far I have come.