Thursday, September 22, 2011
You tried, Jen. I know you tried, but we were both very insecure and desperate to try and find solid ground to stand and something firm to hold onto. Instead we grabbed onto each other’s brokenness. As different as we were we both tried to deal using control and self-abuse. It’s sad that we couldn’t recognize this in each other. Things between us did not end well. Things were said and feelings greatly damaged as we took whatever ammo we could find and hurled it. I saw you again several years later at a party. We were cordial, but spoke only briefly. I remember how unhappy you still looked and the stinging of my heart. I know I’ve done a lot of growing up and changing over the last 25 years. We could have had a friendship that lasted through all those years if we had known better. If I had the chance now, I would hold onto the things that made us friends and like to build a new friendship from that foundation. I hope you know I’ve forgiven you, and forgiven me and I pray you are healthy and happy.